High school spans a period of time during which teenagers make a myriad of decisions that, to one extent or another, influence what comes next for them. Minor questions about what classes to take, activities to commit to, or who to sit with during lunch can be tough enough but pale in comparison to grander queries about what comes after high school. The answer for many students is to choose higher education, but that opens up many more monumental questions.
Grappling with existential questions about what to do with one’s life shouldn’t be a solitary process. Teens should absolutely confer with both the people that care about them most and the experts who can provide the most information. School counselors, private counselors, teachers, and tutors might be the knowledge experts in academic affairs, but parents and guardians are often key stakeholders in college decisions.
Students and parents alike struggle with college conversations. Sometimes parents assume too much control in the process, whereas others may relinquish all influence during the planning stage. Failure to find common ground before applications go out can lead to conflict and chaos once acceptance letters roll in, so be sure to address important considerations as a family:
- Financial conversations are crucial and should happen early in the process.
- Clear expectations and milestones for what students are responsible for–e.g. application deadlines–should be monitored carefully.
- Parents should strive to balance support and guidance with student independence in decision-making.
- Families should research options thoroughly and visit colleges when possible to make informed choices.
- Consider engaging with experts when aspects that are too complex or emotionally charged cause family upset or anxiety.
- Remember that success is influenced much more by fit and affordability than by school ranking or prestige.
- Any student that is willing to work for a great college education and experience can get one.
Early family conversations that don’t flinch from addressing the most charged or contentious aspects of college applications can forestall irreconcilable conflict later. Parents who are afraid they might take the wrong approach in discussing key issues with their kids will appreciate this detailed Tests and the Rest conversation on the topic with educational consultant Lisa Hillhouse.
Mike Bergin